Rescuing

A few days ago Bob said to me, "You do too much for our kids!" As much as I HATE to admit when he's right; he might have a point. When Tate asks me to button his pants or Macie asks me to put on her shirt, I do it. Although they are capable of completing these tasks, I do it for them.

One reason for this, is it is EASIER. It's easier to just do it instead of listening to them whine or complain about it. It's also easier because I can do it so much quicker than they can. Especially when I'm in a hurry, I'd rather just do it myself! Same goes for when they want to make their own PB & J sandwich, for example. They know how to do it, I've let them multiple times, but it's so much EASIER and less messy if I just do it for them.

The second reason that I do tasks for my children that they are capable of doing, is I am a SUCKER! I am a sucker for those cute faces..who ask so sweetly for help. Because they know I am totally a sucker, they take advantage. What I mean by this, is they would NEVER ask their dad to do certain things for them because they know the answer would be no. However, mommy will always do it!

After Bob's comment, I've started thinking, maybe I am doing my kids a disservice rather than a favor. After all, I want them to be confident, self reliant people. I do try to teach them to do hard things. But, kids these days are entitled. They want what they want and they want it now. They do not want to wait or be told no. They expect to be bailed out of situations instead of facing the consequence of their actions.

I know there are extremes to parenting. There are parents who never bail their kids out and parents who always bail their kids out. I want to be somewhere in the middle. I want to let them face the consequence of not doing their homework so they will become more responsible; but, I want to bring them their gym clothes for PE so that they know that I love them and would do anything for them.

I found a quote that says, "Our job as parents is to wean ourselves out of a job. We want our kids to be strong, noble, contributing members of society, not ones that need to be petted and pampered through life." What it means to wean ourselves out of a job, is to take a step back, every once in awhile, and let our kids be responsible and STOP parenting so much that they can't even attempt to make a decision on their own; It's a chance to see where their values lie and what choices they make when there is a tough decision in front of them. I would rather my children had the freedom to make choices now and face the consequences instead of waiting until they are teenagers to see where their values lie. It is hard for me sometimes to just stop parenting and instead, listen and watch and see what they choose.

I find myself testing their values occasionally. The other day, we were making Christmas Brownies. I told the kids not to eat any more brownie batter because they had already had plenty.. I left the kitchen for a few minutes to grab something. When I came back in, I slowly looked around the corner to see what I would find. To my amazement, they were both just decorating the brownies not a bite in their mouths. I was actually quite shocked that this is what I had found. It seems simple. It is simple. It was a test to see if the values I am teaching my kids every day, like honesty, are sinking in.

Although, I don't want to totally wean myself from a job, because I NEED to be a mom...I LOVE it too much; I do want to raise confident, responsible kids.

I am starting to read a book entitled, "The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Children". I'll let you know if I find any other pearls of wisdom!!