According to dictionary.com, the definition of perpetual is: "lasting an indefinitely long time". So the practice of becoming patient lasts for a very long time!! I definitely believe it!! I sure have not mastered it yet.
The title of my blog post is the title of the chapter of a book I am currently reading. Although, the chapter I am reading is geared toward patience with children, I actually think that I STINK at patience in general!
Those who know me well, would agree, especially poor Bob. For example, if I have an idea to go to Ikea to buy Macie a dresser, then I want to go today even if it's not the most convenient day to do it. Today, right now, always sounds better to me than later.
At my doctor appointment on Monday, I had been waiting in the waiting room for 57 minutes. It felt like NO ONE was being called back and so I was sure I would be sitting there all day! I told myself that in 3 more minutes I would get up and kindly ask the receptionist how much longer it would be. I justified this to myself by thinking I needed to get back to my kids and start dinner, etc. So when the 3 minutes passed, I walked up to the receptionist desk and kindly asked how much longer it would be. I wasn't even done asking her the question, when the door opened and they called my name. I was so frustrated with myself. If I would have just waited 0.5 more seconds I wouldn't of had to ask and would have taken a big step in the right direction in my pursuit of patience.
With just these 2 experiences of MANY, you get an idea of why I feel hypocritical when I try to teach my kids patience when I struggle with it myself. At least I'm willing to admit it, right?
Back to PARENTING with patience...
I will admit it is hard to be patient after Bob & I spend 45 minutes doing the "bedtime" routine with 3 tired, little kids.
It is hard to be patient once we have them tucked in and Macie just has to tell me "One more thing", before I shut her door. The girl never stops talking. Which I love, but not when its bedtime.
It's hard to be patient when my children have asked for fruit snacks for the 15th time in the last 12 minutes and I keep having to tell them no and try to kindly remind them AGAIN that apples are available if they would like.
It is hard to be patient when my ever so stubborn baby refuses to eat the 3rd thing that I've made for him in one meal sitting, trying to find SOMETHING that this kid will eat.
It is hard to be patient, when I'm running late.
It is hard to be patient, when I hear whining instead of talking.
And the list goes on and on.....
Phew! That was quite cathartic to get that out! :)
Let's face it, it is hard to be patient when your a mom. Some days I feel like I am on my "A" game and can talk in a very calm soothing voice COME WHAT MAY. Most days I'm on my "B" or "C" game where I raise my voice more than I'd like to.
The author in the book I'm reading suggests to overwhelm your kids with calmness. Easier said than done. However, I've tried it for a few days and it kind of works. If I am somehow able to stay calm with my feathers unruffled amidst the whining, crying and screaming of my little children, it actually does rub off on them. I have found my tone of voice actually deescalates the situation regardless of what words come out of my mouth.
Also, in regards to patience, it helps to laugh. Like the example where I had made 3 different things trying to get Ty to open his mouth to at least TRY a bite of something and then he STILL refused. I felt my "typical" impatience boiling inside, but instead I smiled and looked at that little cherub face and said, "Well you must not be that hungry if you are able to be this picky." Then I got him out of his high chair, put him on the ground and off he crawled away to play with his toys.
It was a step in the right direction. A small step but a step.
It helps me feel better when I realize that practicing patience is perpetual. It is going to be something I will probably always struggle with. What matters is, that I am trying to overcome some of my tendencies in hopes of being an example to my kids that it IS possible to be patient.
8 comments:
i never thought i was an impatient person... until i had kids! i would like to know what the title of your book is called, i could really benefit from this! thanks for sharing.
We all struggle with patience. It isn't something that comes natural or easy. Working on it is definitely a step in the right direction. I know that right now I am doing everything I can to stay calm, patient and positive. I keep praying that while I try to wait patiently, I am building character and more trust and faith in my Savior. So, although it is a very hard trait to develop and to teach, it is definitely one of the characteristics that brings us closer to Christ and closer to attaining His attributes. Good job, Lindsay!
I could help on my patience too esp when I am tired!! Thanks for the post Lindsay!
You are awesome. I'm so glad you posted this. It's true that when you raise your voice there tends to be much more reaction than if you don't. Sterling LOVES it when I yell at him. To him he got attention, and he smiles so big and keeps doing whatever it is that's driving me nuts. He thinks it's a game. The learning moments of a mother. Sigh...
I seriously need to go to a class on how to be more patient. I just yelled at Blake because he wouldn't stop yelling. Totally makes sense, right!? Some days I feel like a failure, but I'm learning. Not every day is wonderful, but I try and do better.
I am terrible with patience... even i reading what you deem faults, this is fantastic. you are a great mom Lindsay!
Hey Brit, the book I'm reading is called "I didn't plan to be a witch". It's a very good parenting book!! :) The title cracks me up!
I agree with Brittany, kids bring out the lovely impatientness in a mother. I like your post, it helps us all to remember how important it is to be patient. I'm sure by the time my kids are grown and moved out, then I'll have it down..
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